Love and Destructive Habits

It's actually perfect that I'm participating in the That's YAmore Blogfest (Go here for participants) during the same week as Destructive Habits.

Why?
Because my greatest destructive habit is spazzing (is that even a word?) myself out when writing intense scenes. Sometimes, I even put them off until the very last moment because I just know it's going to be excruciating.

I'm a detail writer. I love details. LOVE them. I love that I can mention a vase in book1 and bring it back in book5 and it will have a monumental role in the entire series. I think this is my problem. The details overwhelm me.

In non-action scenes, I used to write in too many details and it bogged my writing down. I like to think now, I can kind of figure out what's needed and what's not, but action scenes are a completely different thing. I guess maybe I can't figure out the right algorithm for them. (I've never been good at math) It takes me ages before I feel somewhat satisfied with an intense scene.

How do I work through it?
Simple. Critique partners. (Thanks gals!) And instant feedback from my writing buddy (Thanks Marin!)

Today, you're going to get a chance to play along. I'm posting my 250ish word excerpt from my WiP and you can help me out. Give me feedback. Don't worry about hurting my feelings, 'cause you're not.

Here goes nothing.
Things you should know: The two characters are in the loft of a barn sitting with their feet dangling over the edge of the hole in the middle that hay is tossed down. Oh, and the boy can do magic. So when it says golden sparks, think magic.

*Names have been changed, because Jack and Jill are seriously cool people. Am I right?

“There was something I didn’t tell you earlier Jill.” Jack slid closer again.

Jill tightened her hold on the boards making up the floor. “What?” Her voice came out wrong, all froggy. She swallowed.

“I followed you up here with one thing on my mind.”

Jill couldn’t talk. Her brain was getting fuzzy again.

“I wanted to thank you.” The hay crunched as he moved against it, closer. “Ever since I came here, people have been avoiding me, calling me the Smith, wishing I had never come.”

His eyes were like the ocean, or at least what Jill had read about the ocean, she’d never seen anything so deep before, so full. She was lost in them.

“Everyone, that is, except you.” His eyes dropped from hers and she remembered to breathe. “And there’s one more thing, I’m going to kiss you.”

Jill knew she heard him wrong. He was going to sass her or catch her or kick her, surely it wasn’t…it couldn’t have been—nope, it was definitely kiss. Jill held her breath as his hand cupped her cheek and his eyes got wider and brighter and closer.

Her brain wasn’t fuzzy anymore. It was non-existent. His head tilted as her lips touched his. Her eyes closed of their own accord as a thousand fireworks blasted inside her skull. Her hands gripped the boards beneath her as the kiss deepened and his hands tangled in her hair.

She was falling.

The kiss broke. Her eyes flew open as air whipped her hair. The floor of the barn rose coming up faster towards her face, but he was there, grabbing for her, tucking her body around his arms. Golden sparks filled the air as they crashed into the hay. She was in one piece. Laughter bubbled up from her chest. Jack joined her. His deeper laugh filled the barn.

“Look, you’ve already fallen for me.” 

Whew, there it is. What do you think? Let me know in the comments!