Because. I. Am. A. Writer.

Writing for me is more than just something I do. It is my very core.

I had an INCREDIBLE Language Arts/Literature teacher for my Junior and Senior years in high school and he said something I've never forgotten. "Poetry is defining the undefinable." While I rarely write poetry (okay, only if I have to for a class, and only if it's mandatory), I do write and the best way for me to describe why that is, is--

I am undefinable. Writing defines the undefinable.

So, why do I write? Because to not do so would leave me in a world of confusion. Life for me is confusing. It's ugly and messy and gross and weird and undefinable.  Writing takes all the jumbled, confused parts of me and spreads it near and far for the world to view. In some parts, it's beautiful, even gorgeous. In other places, it's vile, disgusting, and vulgar. In still others, the picture isn't clear, but the emotion of it can hit you faster and harder than a bull dressed in red. I write because I can take all of that and hand it to someone, they read it, and they get it. Even the unwritten bits that are too much to explain. The know life. They know the undefinable. They know me.

It can sometimes take a while for me to open up to someone. In fact, the person who knows me the best, is the person who has read the most.  It's the person I share everything with because she has read "me." The Me on paper that has no standards and nothing to hide. I can be open in that me and not worry about judgement. It's just a character, just a thought, just a whim of my imagination. Really, all of us writers know the truth...even the villains have a bit of us inside them (which considering my villians creeps me out a bit, well maybe a lot, but anyway). Some characters have more of us than we are willing to reveal. It's there all the same, the true me for those who wish to find that person. I can be every character and not have a personality disorder. Most people will be content to see what they see before them, but for those who wish to know what is really going on behind my hazel eyes, be forewarned, I'm sure there's a reason my subconscious hides behind the lies of characters. 

So, why do I write? Because people are undefinable. Because I'm undefinable. Because it gives me a chance to be me, every side of me. Because I can. Because. I. Am. A. Writer.

One Reason and Only One

My general response to the question “why do you write” is “I have no clue. It’s just something that I keep coming back to.” However, I’ve decided to follow in Emery’s foot steps and put my cards on the table, so here’s why I write.

I write as a way to process emotions, as a coping mechanism.

I was raised under the impression that showing people how you felt was inherently wrong, and for a long time I accepted that as true. I kept everything all locked up inside because I thought that was what everyone did. Then some stuff hit the fan and I realized that living a life where I had to pretend that my emotions didn’t exist just wasn’t the type of life I wanted to live, so I started to slowly demolish all of the walls I’d thrown up. Because of this at 20 I had to start learning how to process and express my emotions basically from the ground up.

I know, that sounds weird, so I’ll try to show you what I mean. Imagine, that a friend goes to Belgium and they bring you back a box of real honest to goodness Belgium chocolates. When you take that first bite it’s like nothing you’ve ever tasted before, and you don’t know how you could have spent your whole life eating Hershey’s bars when there was chocolate like this out there. At the same time it’s so complex and rich that it doesn’t take much to send you into chocolate overdrive. That’s what it was like for me except with emotions instead of chocolate.

I had no clue what I was doing, and it was really easy for my emotions as well of those I picked up from other people to overwhelm me. But when Ella started pulling me back into writing it all started to click. Writing was the perfect outlet for the emotions that I still hadn’t fully learned how to express. If I was completely at a loss for how to deal with something I could just work it into whatever story I was writing and let my characters deal with it.

I’ve thought about trying to stop a few times when I stopped needing a coping mechanism as much, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s part of who I am now, and the more time I spend with Bethany, Ella, Emery, and Hayley the more writing is drifting away from “coping mechanism” and heading towards “passion.”

-Aaron

Why, Oh Why?!

If you haven't already noticed, I like to talk. A lot. I come from a family of talkers. We love to get together and gossip and eat of course, we love to eat (actually, I can't think of a single family function that didn't involve food at some point, lol, how sad is that? But then again, how else are we supposed to keep busy when we're not busy talking?) Anyway, it is because of my love of talking that, naturally, I have a lot to say.

From the time I was in second grade I've written stories. It wasn't until later that I realized those stories were a reflection of either something I was feeling, (loneliness, isolation, being different) or something that I longed for (friendship, acceptance, self-confidence).

I write stories so that I can live vicariously through my characters, give them what they want and then take it away at the drop of a hat. That's another reason why I write: Power. I have control over anything and everything that happens in my characters' lives. I get to decide if the weather is rainy, sunny, or if hail the size of golf balls are pelting to earth. I get a say in whether my MC falls for the nerdy boy or popular jock (and if he likes her back). Basically, I am "the man behind the curtain" as Oz from The Wizard of Oz would say. I have the power-and it rocks! :)

I write because, if I didn't, I'd go nuts-literally, I have so many characters voices and stories chattering and swirling around in my head that if I didn't take the time to write them all down, my brain would explode (and the last thing I want is brain matter stuck in between the keys of my computer!)

Also, I want the chance to share my characters' stories with the world. I want someone to be moved and touched by my writing, I want to make them laugh, cry, I don't care, I just want them to feel something (except boredom, lol, boredom I could do without, it's like the ultimate death sentence for a writer!)

And finally, I write with the hope of publication. I want to meet people, teens, librarians, bloggers, everybody. I want to be able to talk shop, commiserate with other writers on their bumps in the road and jump up and down for joy with them to celebrate their successes. I just want to be able to experience all of the amazing things that the life of a writer has to offer and that, my friends, is why I write.

~Ella